


>:3c

by worddumb



Series: Human AU thing [1]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: A lot of affection, Fluff, Gen, Had to be done, I want to normalize friendly touching, don’t kill me, it’s sweet:), sorry about the notes, there’s a very bad fighting scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 23:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddumb/pseuds/worddumb
Summary: It’s a bit of a riddle, in my opinion, but don’t let that stop you- I’m bad at riddles and thus this is nothing but Grian having his ass handed to him in combat. Enjoy!





	>:3c

False was taking a break from her training- basically melting into one of the gyms benches, occasionally taking a sip of water- when Mumbo almost ran through the door. That got her to forget her tiredness rather quickly- the man was usually very composed and formal, only ever in a rush when working on something for 3 days straight or panicked, or something of equal importance. When she saw him a second later, she immediately slumped again- he was rather animatedly conversing with a short, dirty-blond man who didn’t seem to struggle to keep up. The mans name was Grian- False doubts she could forget that any time soon. Mumbo spotted her, freezings in place and than sprinting to where she was standing, grabbing Grian by the arm and dragging him along rather unceremoniously. Coming to a full stop in front of her, he went straight to business: “I need you”- his breathing hitched from running-“to do something for me”- he wheezed, using the wall for support, and than fell on to the bench False was using previously. Grian giggled, not yet saying anything and not out of breath in the slightest. “Yeah, hi to you too, mr British gentleman. What’s up?” Mumbo took an inhaler out of a purse he always had with him, and after evening out his breathing pattern again, his companion remaining silent, said: “I need you to fight”- weakly raising his hand in Grians general direction- “this man”. False blinked. “What?”- she said intelligently, not quite believing her ears. Asking her to fight a random dude, who looked like he was 17, in broad daylight, in a busy(empty) gym? Did Mumbo finally lose it? Well, the man was actually 25, and not exactly random, but still. “Oh, I’m sorry!”- the aforementioned man finally spoke up: “You must be terribly confused!”- his voice was way too cheerful in context to his words. “Don’t worry- I am too! Oh, and my names Grian, by the way”- he said, extending a hand in greeting. The way he was talking reminded False of another short cheerbub she knew, and it was rather nice. “Uhhh...”- she took the hand, shaking it firmly once-“False. False Symmetry”. The mans face lit up in recognition: “Uuuu! Mumbo told me about you!”- turning to now slightly more alive engineer, not letting go of Falses hand-“So That’s why you dragged me here!” Now that she thought about it, she may also have an idea of what was happening- not so long ago, Mumbo complained about entering some sort of a fighting tournament with an ‘outside friend’, them coming in second and saying they were bad at combat, to Mumbos flying out in the first few rounds and feeling lame, though he did have some basic self defense training- courtesy of Iskall, of course. So, maybe, he wanted some sweet sweet revenge, even if this way of doing it wasn’t usually his style. False smiled- if that was the case, she could definitely deliver. “Yeah, exactly.”- Mumbo was smiling a little, which was obscured by his mustache. Turning back to False, he schooled his face into an incredibly serious grimace: “I need you to fight for my dignity”. She couldn’t help but smirk: “What happened? Did he beat you into the ground? If that’s the case, I’m not fighting a teenager on your behalf”. “No, that’s not it. You see-“ Mumbo got cut off here, Grian jumping in on the conversation: “We vent to a fighting tournament, and he’s salty he lost before me, even tho I’m like, terrible at combat”- his voice was laced with mischief, obviously knowing it would annoy the younger man. “You came in second! Second! I don’t take issue with loosing, I’m not good at physical stuff, but geez, man!”- Mumbo looked exasperated. It was kinda funny. “I do take issue with how stubborn you’re being-“- cut off again, he seemed downright murderous-“But I’m not! I really am no good at it! It was my first time participating in something like that!”- in contrast to Mumbo, Grian still looked cheerful, though his tone did have some genuine disbelief in it. “Guys!”- both men turned to her, Mumbo clicking his mouth shut: “I think I understand”. She turned to the resident mustachio: “You”- she put special emphasis on that- “want me to fight hiim, to prove him he is a good fighter. And you”- special emphasis again- “don’t think you are good enough to rival whatever Mumbo told you about my combat skill”. Both men looked at each other for a second, than turned back to her. “Yeah, basically”- Grian agreed after a moment of silence. “Okay,”- she shrugged- “I’ll fight him. My break is almost over anyways”. With that, she turned around and went to get some combat gear for both of them, as Mumbos gym visit felt extremely sporadic, and she doubted either of them had anything. Leaving, she noted the absolutely godsmaked expression Grian was sprouting- whatever he was told, it probably exceeded reality by a long shot. She didn’t even need to look at the other man to know he looked like a smug cat.

When False came back, Grian was mock crying into Mumbos shoulder, the taller man laughing quietly at soft ‘what shoooud I dooo’s and ‘you want my death, don’t you?’s, Grian barely hiding the laughter in his tone as well. She cleared her throat, making her presence known, and than threw a small fitness bag at them and motioned them to stand up. Grian basically jumped out of the seat, immediately taking off to changing rooms- he also went to this gym, it was a small town after all- while Mumbo slowly gotten up, groaning a little on his way. False gave him her water bottle- not trusting him to catch it if she was to throw. She needed to make him exercise, he was basically a useless twig at this point. She, herself, already wrapped her hands and legs, barefoot for this one: “Now, Mumbo”- she began, her tone judging- “what in the world made you think any of this was a good idea?” The spoon had enough decency to look ashamed of himself: “I’m terribly sorry, I- I didn’t, actually. That was very in the moment, and I just- I’m sorry, it just-“ Mumbo was obviously struggling to explain, without saying anything excess, so False couldn’t help, but feel a little bad: “It’s okay, we can talk later”- she reassured him, trying not to be too soft, but still- everyone made mistakes, and this one wasn’t even that bad anyway. Right when she went to hug Mumbo- forget about not being soft, the spoon was nearing a panic attack- Grian came out of the shadows. False didn’t pull away- Mumbo was like sibling to her, and like hell will she let him suffer because of what people would think. The engineer, on the other hand, seemed rather embarrassed, but also didn’t try to pull away- he was stupid, not an idiot, he knew he needed this. He also knew Grian wouldn’t judge, that also helped, so he just tried to smile, in order to not worry the older man. Grian either didn’t notice his distress, or elected to ignore it, because he just beamed up at False and even hopped in place, painfully exited for the upcoming beating- no, really, she was positive he thought she would win effortlessly, and yet he still was like this? False found it a bit unnerving, but pleasant for sure. She also could feel Mumbo, who she hadn’t let go yet,relax beside her, so that was good. The little guy didn’t get a chance to say anything, before False spoke: “Ah, I see you’re ready! Let’s go, than!” She turned around and went to a small room, made specifically for sparring, not bothering to check if anyone followed her. From behind, she could hear exited squeaking, paired with a small grunt, so curiosity got the best of her- when she looked back, Grian was basically hanging off of Mumbos hand, looking at her like she hung the moon, while the taller man awkwardly petted him on the hair in a sorta ‘calm down, please, or you may blow up’ gesture. It was hilarious, really- she could understand why Mumbo warmed up to this random guy so quickly. Regardless of that, they were already there, so False turned her attention away from those two idiots and made sure no one was in the sparring room- it had one way glass in place of two walls and a door, which definitely had nothing to do with False using this gym almost every day whenever she was in town. Or anyone else using it. Seeing as it was unoccupied- as expected- she entered, leaving the door open. She went straight to a bench, leaving her water right next to it, and straightened up just in time to see Grian and Mumbo in the doorway, repeating ‘after you’ in exceedingly polite fashion, until Grian grinned, went behind Mumbo in one wide step, and showed him through the door, exclaiming ‘AFTER YoU’ with so much triumph False couldn’t help but laugh. Mumbo stumbled a bit, than made an extremely offended face and went to sit down, Grian giggling like a madman behind him, also stumbling in and closing the door. He, seemingly, had been to the room already, as he didn’t react to the mirrors, not visibly, at least.  
“So!”- began False, going to stand somewhat in the middle of the room, legs wide, hands on her hips- “Let’s begin, shall we?” Grian beamed at her again, getting closer and into his stance- it was a little odd, but she couldn’t call it incorrect- waiting for her to do so as well. She made a few steps back, getting into her own stance and looking at Mumbo for a split second. He understood, got up, stood between them but a bit behind, letting them see each other, than started to count down with both his fingers and his voice: “Tree! Two! One!”- both fighters tensed, ready to jump at each other any second- “Go!”- Mumbo hurried back, as two people leaped forward, immediately at each others throats.

False was enjoying herself. The combat, as she could tell by the first seconds, was not going to be dull- Grian was right when he said he was bad, because, by professional standards, it was true- his style was allover the place, combining every practice False ever heard off and a lot of improvisation, he was light on his feet in defense and heavily planted in place on offense, letting any punch that would get to him to throw him around- she could see his logic behind that, and interestingly enough, it was working. He was unpredictable and fast, very obviously fighting for fun and not victory- he was attempting everything at once, no holding back, no regard for his own safety, fight and flight being one and the same for him. He was a nice change of pace, that was for sure- so far, he evaded any and all attempts to get him into a lock, only ever going for one in defense, rather than trying to get it purpose- and he didn’t pull his punches, which she was ready to kiss him for. No, really, he was the first ever person she sparred, who was semi-competent and didn’t disregard her based on gender, or size, or that she was blond- yes, that happened before and she almost killed her opponent- or anything else, really. He was vicious, going for any weakness, and she greatly appreciated that. So it was no surprise False flew completely off the rails, now wasn’t it? 

Their sparring didn’t last much longer after that. She almost groveled, throwing a rather high strike Grians way, the fucking mantis managing to Jump over it, landing on his feet and immediately blocking a punch directed at his gut, loosing balance from how strong it was and falling flat on his back. False had already grabbed both his hands, pinning them all the way above his head, restraining his legs with her own. Interestingly enough, the man didn’t tap out than and there, instead yanking both his arms in and down- successfully- and than grabbing her waist, holding himself as close as possible, simultaneously pushing his legs up a little, trying to throw her over to her right- smart, but useless. She’d already caught on, slamming her body into the ground, Grian unlocking his arms on impact, her grabbing one, getting up as fast and as little as she could, flipping him over, getting his other arm into her custody as well, sitting herself between his knees and butt, both hands pushing harshly into his back- no weak points this time, any resistance would be useless. False leaned in, breathing labored, and hissed, quiet but victorious: “Yield?” Grian just made a noise of disagreement, yanking at the restrain to no avail. As quickly as possible, False transferred one hand into a sweaty mop of hair and pulling, elbow cutting into his back for leverage: “Yield. Now”- this time, it was an order. The read tank top man whimpered: “I yield, I yield!”- words slurred, said in a rush, she almost felt bad for the poor thing. Getting up, she extended a hand to him, now limp on the floor- he took it, a grateful expression in place as he grunted on his way up. Once standing semi straight, using Falses shoulder for support, Grian wiped his eyes- oh, she felt super bad now- and looked up to her, a crooked smile gracing his features. Once his eyes managed to focus on her, he absolutely Beamed- remember all those times she thought he was beaming? Well, they did not hold up nearly to the sun, that his expression was now, with a bruise forming on an entire half of his face, where she slam dunked him into the floor- she should’ve put some mats down- his eyes watering from pain and looking almost like pink honey in this lighting, uneven breathing, an open mouth smile firmly in place, he softly said: “That as Awesome!”- swaying lightly for emphasis and hugging her tightly. She didn’t mind, relief washing over her, bending down a bit and putting her head in the crook of his neck, patting his back reassuringly, carful not to squeeze too hard. It was hard to believe she just met him formally, but fighting bonded people, so well. Suddenly, she heard Mumbo clearing his throat- he probably thought they forgot about him. She turned her head to him, leaning against Grian for a bit of a prop- she was exhausted, after all- waving her hand weakly. Mumbos expression was awestruck and worried, as it always was in situations like this: “This was absolutely beautiful”- he said, coming to give them both a hand, False leaning onto him straight away- “but now you need to sit. Come on, this way”. He lead them both to the bench, Grian simply holding onto him and False using him as a support beam- she did spend forty minutes working out before this entire ordeal. Sitting them down, Mumbo reached for an almost full water bottle, opening it and giving it to False, looking comically worried about something he’s seen a hundred times before. So sweet. She drinks greedily, remembering to leave half a bottle for Grian, leaning onto the mirror behind her- it was sturdy enough to hold her weight easily. Passing water to her bench neighbor she slumps completely, letting out a happy sigh. Her bun is a mess and her headband isn’t holding her growing out fringe properly anymore, and she’s very sweaty right now, but none of that matters- she didn’t feel this satisfied after a fight with a stranger in a long time. She feels Mumbo sitting down between them, hugging them both in display of ‘I worry, and I’m happy that you are happy and okay’. She is content.

After spending some time there on that bench and going to the showers, Mumbo loudly complaining about them being gross and sweaty and why did he hug them again almost the whole time, False met up with her duo again outside of the building. They were lucky no one was in the gym this time of the week, or this would’ve probably taken a lot longer- as well as would’ve been a lot more annoying. She came right in on a conversation they were having- she had taken longer changing and drying her hair, for she had to do it at all, while Grian chose to be a wet sparrow and was thoroughly enjoying it. “-it really did last that long, you did amazing- Oh!”- Mumbo startled himself over Falses sudden appearance, cutting off whatever he wanted to say. Grian just perked up, obviously excited, holding an ice pack against his face- the gym provided those for no particular reason at all- and started talking right of the bat: “I lasted a whole minute against you! Also, you are awesome- do you think we could do this again, maybe? Oh, who am I kidding, you’re too cool for that, I’m sorry, you probably didn’t even enjoy it, I’ll just-“  
“Whoa, buddy, chill!”- False had to slap a hand over his mouth, because she doubted she’d get a word in otherwise- “I’d love to spar you again! Just let the bruising heal, first, okay? Also-“- she turned to Mumbo- “was it really just one minute?” The man smirked, straightening up his white dress shirt: “No, it wasn’t”- she noticed Grian slumping a bit- “It was four and half. Someone-“- he made a point at glaring at the shorter man- “just never fucking listens”. Grian’s expression, at that point, shifted from absolute disbelief to perfectly neutral, as he did a full body turn to Mumbo: “You are shitting me”. The way it was said, you could not think of it as anything, but a statement- a true one, at that. The taller man looked away nervously, than back at Grian: “No?” Grians face lit up, as he leaped forward for a hug, nuzzling into Mumbos chest happily, him looking extremely relieved as he petted the small ball of sunshine on the back again. False giggled and waved at them: “Okay, I’m heading home now. Bye!” Both men waved back at her, and, as she was leaving, she heard a faint: “Okay, let’s get you home now” “Take me to dinner first!” “With that bruise? No”. She smiled. It was interesting to see Mumbo ‘I trapped my room back when I was a kid to get away from people’ Jumbo befriend someone in less than two weeks, though seeing who he befriended, it made sense- False warmed up to Grian rather fast herself. And to hell with his fishy past- it was hard to imagine this man as a threat, and he wasn’t- for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I lured you in with false sense of security, and now I shall talk.  
So, I’m Ukrainian. Not like it matters- most of the time, it doesn’t- but I found I couldn’t comprehend the shipping discourse for that exact reason. You see, in my culture, it’s perfectly normal to look at a boy and a girl sitting together, lean in to your friends, and whisper: “They’re definitely dating”, and your friend would be like: “But he’s cheating on her with that guy” and you go “And she knows, but she cheats with everyone in this class, so she keeps quiet”. In the same time, they might be speculating about why you and your friend sit so closely, and come up with their own crazy theories- I was a part, and a ‘victim’ of this, and it was fun, and just a joke, and we are teenagers, for fucks sake! I’m pretty sure it’s the same for mr. Zloy of Hermitcraft recap- he’s Russian, and they have basically the same thing. So, yeah, I genuinely don’t understand the discourse- if a hermit comes across it, they’ll just be mildly put off at worst and entertained at best, but antis literally tell people to kill themself- children, they tell children like me and themselves to die for something so petty. And I understand being uncomfortable with it- I kinda am, kinda not- but the shit that’s been going down is just sad. Thanks for coming to my ted talk, shipping is just a joke and never killed anyone, BYE!


End file.
